Have second thoughts

Context #1

Getting married is one of the biggest steps someone can take in life and it is always wise to consider many things before making this huge commitment. Some people may say that being in love is the only requirement for getting married; others say it’s not that simple. Where will you live? Will you have children? Will you share household duties? How well do you know each other? Some believe the last question is the most important. If you don’t know someone very well, you may not be able to trust them or there may be some things in their past that you don’t like. There are many instances of couples who rush to get married but have second thoughts as the wedding date approaches. If you have many doubts as you move towards this great life step, perhaps it’s best to take a step back and reconsider.

Context #2

Sophie: I’m getting nervous. I don’t think this is a good idea, Margie.

Margie: Are you serious? We’ve been preparing for this for weeks! This is the only way we can pass our chemistry test. We have to cheat!

Sophie: It doesn’t feel right. I’m having second thoughts. Maybe we should just try and study more.

Margie: Are you crazy? The test is tomorrow. We don’t have time!

Sophie: What if we get caught? We’ll get a zero on the test AND be in trouble. We can try our best and get a score we deserve.

Margie: I can’t believe you’re changing your mind. You can go ahead and study. I’m going to get a perfect score on tomorrow’s test without you.

Explanation:

When someone has second thoughts, they are reconsidering their decision and there’s a chance they could change their mind. Their 1^st (first) thought is their original plan/idea. Their 2^nd (second) thought comes when they doubt their 1^st one and begin thinking of a way out.

In Example 1 on the subject of marriage, the writer shares an example of a couple who rushes to marry, only for one of them to have second thoughts. Their first thought was “yes! Let’s get married!” Their second thought is now more like, “hmm, maybe this isn’t the best idea..”

In Example 2, the girls are preparing to cheat on an exam (1^st thought), but then Sophie has second thoughts (maybe it’s not such a good idea after all). Sophie changes her mind and doesn’t participate in the cheating with Margie.

If someone has second thoughts, they might not always change her mind. If someone is having second thoughts about their wedding, it’s very possible they are just nervous but will still get married.

More examples:

I am having second thoughts about changing careers. I like my current job.

Jan had second thoughts about buying those shoes. Her bank account was nearly empty.

I have a sky diving appointment this weekend. I’m excited, but also nervous. I’m worried I will have second thoughts once I’m in the plane.

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Play it by ear

Play it by ear: (1) Play music without reading from a score; (2) To do something instinctively; to do something without planning based on the circumstances.

Context #1 – Friends talking about an upcoming trip

Hanna: So what are we going to do when we get to London?

Leslie: Well, we said we would go to the major attractions during the day.

Hanna: Yeah, but I want to go out at night too.  Should I do some research?

Leslie: Let’s just play it by ear.  I mean, we don’t even know what it will feel like until we arrive.

Hanna: Yeah, that’s not a bad idea.  Let’s just play it by ear then. I’m sure we’ll figure something out.

Context #2 – Two traveling musicians.

Jason:  I can’t wait for our concert this Sunday.  I can’t believe we’re opening for Black Violin.

Jose: I know.  I heard they always invite their opening act to play on stage with them impromptu.  What should we do if that happens?

Jason: We’ll just play it by ear man.  That’s the best way to approach something like that.

Jose: I guess we have no choice.  Awesome!  Wyld Stallyns!!!

Explanation: “Play it by ear” means to do something without any planning.  It could apply to music or any situation where there are no instructions.  Many people use it when they feel confused about life. 

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Get your act together

Get your act together: to organize in ways necessary to achieve a goal, necessity, or responsibility.

 

 Context #1 – Friends talking about relationships

Don: Are you seriously considering marrying your girlfriend.  I thought you said you had no job or plans for the future.

Jerrad: Well, she’s pretty great and she makes me want to be a better person.

Don: Well then, you better get your act together before her parents or friends disapprove of you.

Jerrad: I’m really trying to get my act together.  I don’t want to lose her.

Don: I hope so.  Otherwise, some other guy is going to take her from you.

   

Context #2 – Brother and sister talking about responsibilities in college

Kelly:  I’m glad you’re home for spring break. How’s college?

Devin: I’m not doing so well.  All the partying is keeping me from being focused.

Kelly: Hey, mom and dad are paying a lot of money for you to go to school.  You better get your act together.

Devin: I know.  I don’t want to disappoint them and I want to make sure I get a good education.

Explanation: “Get your act together” means to become responsible by taking steps in a positive/productive direction.  It means that your ideas are in many separate direction and you have to sit down, focus and complete the tasks necessary to succeed.

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Second to None

Second to None: the best, better than anything or anyone else

Context #1 – A friend is asking his roommate about restaurants

Mark: Hey, Mannie. What are you doing?

Mannie: Well, I’m looking for a really nice restaurant. I’ve decided to ask Tanya to marry me and I would like to do it in a romantic restaurant.

Mark: Congratulations! You make a great couple! I know a perfect restaurant right on the beach. It has a beautiful view and the food is delicious!

Mannie: Are you sure it is the best restaurant in the area?

Mark: I guarantee you that this restaurant is second to none. You will love it!

Context #2 – Friends talking about a concert

Cassandra: Hey, would you like to go see that new band “Things Hidden” tonight at the coliseum?

Tabitha: Oh, yes! I heard they are the best new band out there!

Cassandra: They are second to none! No other band can compare.

Tabitha: Let’s go early so that we can get really good seats.

Explanation: “Second to none” means the best or better than anything or anyone else. In context 1, Mannie wants to take Tanya to the best restaurant in town so that he can propose to her.  Mark assures Mannie that the restaurant he recommended is the best, or second to none. In context 2, the band that the two friends are going to see is the best new band in town. 

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To rip off

Idiom: to rip off (verb), a rip-off (noun) – to steal something from another person; to cheat or trick someone into spending more money on a product than what it is worth.

Context #1 – Friends are taking a tour of Los Angeles

Dan: Let’s go see the Hollywood sign next, but don’t leave your bag in the car.

Juan: Really? Why not?

Dan: Because there are thieves at popular sites who often rip off tourists who are not careful with their bags and belongings.

Juan: Oh, I see. That happens sometimes in my country, especially in areas where there are a lot of tourists.

Dan: Yes, so be careful.  If someone rips us off, then we will really be in trouble!

Context #2 – Two friends are talking about buying a car

Sami: I saw an advertisement for a new car. It’s so cheap, so I really need to get to that dealership to buy it now!

Petra: Sami, do you really believe that? It’s too good to be true. Those car dealerships rip everyone off.

Sami: Really? But they can’t lie to people. That’s terrible.

Petra: They put up those advertisements to get people to go to the dealership.  Then, they say unfortunately that “good deal” is no longer available. They are very tricky. Then they will pressure you into paying a lot more for a car than what it is really worth.

Sami: What a rip-off!! That’s outrageous.

Petra: Yes, it is. You are better off knowing the full market value and shopping around at many different places. Then, hopefully, you won’t get ripped off like so many customers.

Sami: That sounds like a plan!

Meaning: To rip off is a verb and a “rip-off” is a noun. This idiom means to steal something or to purposely deceive or trick someone into paying more for a product than what is necessary.  In context 1, two friends are touring Los Angeles and are afraid that if they leave their bags in the car, a thief will “rip them off” or steal their bags. In context 2, Sami sees a really good advertisement for a car, but Petra warns him that the car dealership may be trying to “rip him off” by getting him to go there through false advertising. 

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A drop in the bucket

First Example:

            Mary: Thanks for the donation for the Children's Hospital.

Conner: I wish I could give more. I know $100 is a drop in the bucket compared to what they need.

Mary: It's still generous of you. Yeah, we need to raise about $10 million, but if more people give, it'll really make a difference to a lot of sick kids.

Meaning: The expression "a drop in the bucket" means that something is very small when compared to what is necessary. In the example above, Conner has given Mary a donation for children's hospital, but he realizes that compared with the $10 million necessary, it seems almost worthless (which Mary denies).

Second Example:

When the employees found out how much money the company had made without giving any raises or bonuses, the employees were furious. They argued that a small raise for each employee would have been a drop in the bucket when compared with the record profits, but the company argued that they were investing the profits to ensure future growth.

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Mixed Feelings

Idiom: mixed feelings; used as a noun

First Example:

Harry: Did you hear about the policy new change?

Victoria: Yeah.

Harry: You don't sound happy about it.

Victoria: Well, I have mixed feelings. I mean, I can see how it'll make the experience better for our clients, so that's good.

Harry: Right.

Victoria: But it's going to make our jobs harder, and the company isn't going to be getting more money for our time from our clients. So sure, it's great for the clients, but I have enough work to do already.

Meaning: The expression "mixed feelings" means a reaction that is both positive and negative. In the above example, Victoria says she has "mixed feelings" about a policy change at work because it's better for the clients, but it's worse for the employees. Also, note that Victoria uses the expression after the verb "have;" "have mixed feelings" is probably the most common form when using this expression, but it's not the only one.

Second Example:

Dan: The Oscars were crazy this year!

Robin: I know! I watched that ending with so many mixed feelings.

Dan: What do you mean?

Robin: Well, I wanted Moonlight to win, but they said La La Land won, which didn't surprise me. But then they took it away from them! I was happy for the Moonlight people but sad at the same time for the La La Land people!

Dan: Yeah, that was a roller coaster of emotions.

         

Meaning: Note that Robin doesn't use the verb "have", instead saying she did something  "with mixed feelings". This is probably the second most common way of using this idiom.

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